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My best friend passed away Monday night


ThermoNukePanda

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No, it's not a person, it was my beloved miniature dachshund Madeline.  She was almost 15 years old and this was her last summer outside my house hanging out in the sun like she loved.  This is her story....

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I found Madeline (or I should say she found me) back in 2003 if I remember correctly.  Back when I was still with Coy (my ex wife), we  wanted a dog had answered a newspaper ad for Jack Russell terrier puppies.  We drove way out into the boonies and to this day I remember clearly how crazy far out it was, the feeling I had pulling into the dirt road driveway, getting out of the car and seeing just how miserable this place was.  There were a burnt down house on the property, a manufactured home falling off it's foundation, and it appeared they were living in some shitty RV.  Goats and dogs running  everywhere.  Just a bizarre scene. 

As I began walking down the driveway I saw in the distance this makeshift dog kennel up on posts.  Just a cob job patchwork of 2x4's and chicken wire fencing in front of me that contained way more animals than it possibly should.  Walking closer and closer, my eyes tried to study the dogs within but suddenly fell upon this tiny little figure trapped within it's walls.

A starved, half skeletal dachshund.  Shivering and shuddering, pushed up against the chicken wire.  Staring up at me with huge expressive eyes.

At this point a woman approached us to ask why we were there.  Coy started to speak and tell her about the ad in the paper but after a moment I cut her off abruptly, my eyes still locked upon this dog, and simply said, "We're here for her".  I didn't even know she was a female yet, and I don't know why the words escaped my mouth, but the memory is burned in my soul.

The woman flatly told us that she wasn't for sale.  She was a breeding dog she said, they were keeping her to make puppies, and that she wasn't willing to part with her.

I was adamant.  I wouldn't take no.  I couldn't even look at the woman as I took out my wallet and began to haggle, uncaring of how much I would have to spend to rescue her from this fate. 

And then it happened.  She was mine. 

It's hard to tell you how sick she was.  How absolutely skin and bones she was.  Weak.  Tired.  Fighting for food every day in a cage with about 30 other dogs much larger than she.  The leather collar that was so tight around her neck that hadn't been loosened, so tight that the skin had began to grow around it, absorbing it into her body as she grew.  I rushed her to the vet right away to get the collar surgically removed before I even went home.

And that was how we found each other.

It's hard to tell you the joy this little animal has brought me through the years.  The comfort she provided me in times of pain and anguish.  The love she showed me and the bond we shared.  I taught her tricks, to shake and stand, roll over, beg, play dead.  She was smart and playful, and she was mine. 

And now she's gone.  It all happened so fast, a lightning strike scarring my existence in an instant.  So unexpected and brief.

I had a great weekend to be honest.  Saturday I went with my woman to a local music festival we have twice a year around here, Shelter Slam, that supports local animal shelters.  We know like 80% of the bands that play and are friends with all of them. 

Sunday I actually took my father to see WWE Wrestling at our local arena because I won front row tickets on the radio the previous week and he's really big into that.  I came home from that around 10:30 that night, dogs greeting me as I walked into my house.  I sat down on the couch, trying to unwind for a few minutes before I went to bed.  And then it happened.

I heard a noise, almost like a faint sigh, and I look down at my feet and Maddy had fallen completely over onto her side, legs outstretched, eyes rolled back into her head as she began to vomit.  I panicked a little, immediately knowing it wasn't like her typical upset stomach, picking her her into my arms to rush her onto the tile floor off the carpet.   She felt like dead weight, limp in my arms, as I tried to clear her air passage so she didn't choke.  It was fast, maybe 60 seconds, and she came to.  I knew something was wrong though, she couldn't stand properly.  Her back legs giving out as she just surrendered to not moving.

I made her as comfortable as possible, and Monday I took her to the vet's office.  We spoke about her health, no issues, she's been eating, playing, running around the house.  Nothing seemed wrong or gave any indication of sickness so we agreed on bloodwork.

Massive kidney failure, liver functions were off, and her heart was muffled.  I was in shock and couldn't believe it, I cried right there, tears pouring down my face as I held her in the office.  The vet gave me options, but I couldn't euthanize her that day.  I needed time to say goodbye at least, to bring her home.  One option was outpatient care, so they gave her fluids and special dog food for kidney failure.

I didn't go back to work, spent the day with her but I knew that I had to make the decision to end her suffering that week.  I never got the chance though,  She passed Monday night in my arms while sleeping. 

I'm sorry for the wall of text, but this little girl was my everything and I felt the need to share.  Thanks for reading, and sweet dreams forever to my Madeline.

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Below is the last picture I took of her on Monday afternoon, trying to make her comfortable in the sunlight and snuggled up into her blankets.  I miss her so much, and I swear I keep hearing her and seeing her out of the corner of my eye. 

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Thanks guys..... I felt the need to write something to get it all out.  She'll be sorely missed.  My other pup who's only barely three years old isn't taking it well either.  I know time heals things buts it rough.  I do try to take solace in the fact that I rescued her from a fate worse than death and gave her a long happy life.

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